Never Let a Poly Sci Professor Read a Bedtime Story

From the comments section of Daniel Drezner's latest baby blogging (the objective is to fill his daughter's "thought bubble"):

"Daddy, can you read me the Mearsheimer bedtime story where Goldilocks, the mama bear and the baby bear gang up on the papa bear and take his porridge?"

Let's play a game...submit different versions of fairy tales as told by various politicians/political theorists/activists! Best answers get much adulation and praise (I'd give a real prize, but I'm a poor, miserly college student).

This would work SO much better if I had more than ten readers...