Things People Blame the Jews For, Volume LXXV: World War I

CNN reports:

TikTok this week removed an inflammatory anti-Israel video posted by celebrity beauty mogul and influencer Huda Kattan.

I've never been so happy to be unable to relate to any part of a sentence.

But what were the "anti-Israel" sentiments being expressed? 

Kattan, the founder and face of the billion-dollar brand Huda Beauty, shared a video to her more than 11 million followers on TikTok, accusing Israel of orchestrating World War I, World War II, the September 11 terrorist attacks and Hamas’ attack on Israel on October 7.

[....]

“All of the conspiracy theories coming out and a lot of evidence behind them — that Israel has been behind World War I, World War II, September 11, October 7 — they allowed all of this stuff to happen. Is this crazy?” Kattan said on camera in her since-removed TikTok post, which included other unfounded claims about Israel. “Like, I had a feeling — I was like, ‘Are they behind every world war?’ Yes.”

Alert readers might immediately notice that some of these events occurred before Israel was established. Perhaps the more forgiving among us might overlook that problem for World War II -- Israel was founded only three years after its end, and it was such a Jewy war after all.

But World War I? That's a new one on me. We didn't even have the Balfour Declaration at the start of World War I! Roping Israel into it is really an extra special stretch.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't flag the interesting language "allowed all of this stuff to happen." What I like about this is that it takes for granted that Israel and the Jews control the entirety of global affairs, and is only mad at their non-interventionist mindset. I suppose once you've decided that Jews are like all-powerful gods, theodicy becomes our problem too.

All this talk of global Jewish domination does remind me of a thought I once had, though. Among all the people who think the Jews run the world, there must be somebody who thinks we're doing an okay job of it, right? I'm just imagining some guy in a Peoria bar, overhearing grousing about the damn Jews who run our society, slamming his beer down and yelling "Hey! They're trying their best, okay? I'd like to see you juggle running the banks and the media and the universities and Hollywood and the United Nations!"

And honestly? That guy would be right. It's hard managing all of that at once, and nobody gives us an iota of credit for it.

It's Not Easy Seeing Green

Okay, bear with me for a moment.

Red, yellow, blue -- those are the primary colors.

Red and yellow makes orange. And when I look at orange, it totally looks like a mixture of red and yellow.

Red and blue makes purple. And when I look at purple, it absolutely looks like a mixture of red and blue.

Blue and yellow makes green. And when I look at green -- I don't see blue or yellow at all. Green might as well be another primary color.

The thing is, I've thought this my whole life, to the point where it didn't occur to me that maybe not everyone thinks this. It was just obviously the case that green was distinct in being "independent" of its two bases. And it was literally last night that I had the epiphany that this might not be a universal perception.

So I asked my wife, and sure enough -- she didn't see it that way at all. Green to her looks like a mixture of blue and yellow, just as much as orange and purple look like mixtures of their two primaries.

Apparently, I've been nuts for my entire life. Unless the internet can now come to save me.