Why Must All the Candidates Be So Fucking Neoliberal?

[To the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”]

Oh….

Clinton voted for the war

And Timothy Kaine is such a bore.

Cory Booker loves Wall Street

And VP Warren spells defeat.

None of them’s acceptable

For my precious vote electoral

Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

I think we’ve had enough of the White House

being a Whitehouse

And Tom Perez as Labor’s top

Didn’t restore the union shop

Tom Vilsack is in the sack for

Big Agricultural

Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

O’Malley’s a coastal technocrat

Another pawn of the fat cats

Schumer opposed the Iran Deal.

Castro’s young—is he for real?

Of Biden I’ve had my fill

Since he wrote the ’94 Crime Bill

Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

           

Cummings seemed to think

Black Lives Mattered more than TPP

And Becarra didn’t swear

I’d go to Yale tuition-free.

As Congressmen I think they’re swell

But if they’re picked it’s “betrayal!”

Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

I was for Bernie until I learned he’d

Endorsed the dreaded Hillary

Now I see that he’s sold out

Of that there is no doubt.

Could the problem be with me?

My vain demands of purity?

Nah.

Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal!

Return of the Tab Dump

Travel means falling behind on my tabs. Here are some things that caught my eye:

Don't mess with Valerie Jarrett.

The Agricultural Secretary is Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack. Although slightly better than some alternatives (namely, former Rep. Charlie Stenholm), I know Ezra Klein won't be thrilled to get someone who will continue our focus on the corporate-ag side of things, rather than get us looking at sustainable and intelligent food policy.

Stop the presses! Christian organizations hate governmental support for religion when the religion isn't Christianity (see also). The irony is that the putative "church/state violation" the Thomas More Center is whining about wouldn't qualify under even the most stringent separationist doctrine. A doctrine which, it can't be emphasized enough, the TMC normally loathes when they're not being shameless hacks. Also worth noting: the argument the TMC is pressing is one that, if successful (it won't be) would be lethal to the equalization of minority faiths in American culture.

Sen. Norm Coleman (R-MN), who may or may not have been elected to another term, has lawyered up in response to recent corruption allegations.

Pastor Rick Warren didn't think torture was worth discussing in his meetings with President Bush.