Sunday, November 05, 2006

Put Out

Best response yet to the Ted Haggard scandal: He went gay because his wife didn't put out enough.
Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors' wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband's sin, but she may not be helping him either.

I'm reminded of the classic Simpsons exchange:
Bart: Why can't we wear sandals to church? Jesus wore sandals!

Homer: Well, maybe if he had proper arch support, they wouldn't have caught him!

In any event, clearly the solution to the homosexual agenda is for women to become more "sexually available." I'm glad the Christian right is on board.

Via Andrew Sullivan

6 comments:

The probligo said...

"...HIS WIFE DIDN'T PUT OUT ENOUGH..."

I think that is sick.

Let me tell you this. I married a lady who I was and am still very much in love with.

After our first was born, our sex life went downhill, or down-cliff might be more appropriate. The cause? Repeated bladder and kidney infections caused by damage to bladder and urethrae during her pregnancy.

What you are saying, David, is that you would have taken the once every three to four weeks instead of three to four times a week as "permission" to be unfaithful?

Sickening...

David Schraub said...

Did the irony not come through? I agree, it is quite sick. I'm not endorsing this sentiment, I'm condemning it.

The probligo said...

Irony? Oh! No, sorry, not a skerrick of it at this end.

Jon Swift said...

If only Haggard's wife had followed her husband's Jerusalem Diet...

Anonymous said...

dang. i'd think you'd have to work pretty hard to not pick up on the sarcasm in this post...

jack said...

Theres some more great advice in that post.

My favorites:

Churches should consider returning to heterosexual male assistants who are like Timothy and Titus to serve alongside pastors. Too often the pastor’s assistant is a woman who, if not sexually involved, becomes too emotionally involved with the pastor as a sort of emotional and practical second wife. I have been blessed with a trustworthy heterosexual male assistant who can travel with me, meet with me, etc., without the fear of any temptations or even false allegations since we have beautiful wives and eight children between us.


Yeah, male assistants are great idea. Never had a problem with clergy and younger male subordinates before.


Pastors need to protect their email and have it screened for accountability. For me, this means that no email but an email from one of our pastors comes directly to me. This also means that I leave my email account open at home and my wife regularly checks it to get schedule information, etc., because I have nothing to hide. I also do not have a secondary email account from which to build a secret identity.


WHAT?