Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard the maiden flight of Hill Force One. My name is Hillary and I am so pleased to have most of you on board,” Clinton said over the loud speaker of a chartered 737. “FAA regulations prohibit the use of any cell phones, BlackBerries, or wireless devices that may be used to transmit a negative story about me.”
“In a few minutes, I am going to switch off the ‘fasten your seat belt sign.’ However, I’ve learned lately that things can get awfully bumpy when you least expect it — so you might want to keep those seatbelts fastened,” she said, surprising the members of national print and broadcast media on board who at first thought a flight attendant was imitating the typically serious presidential candidate.
“And in the event of an unexpected drop in poll numbers, this plane will be diverted to New Hampshire,” Clinton said, referring to her recent primary victory. “If you look out from the right, you will see an America saddled with tax cuts for the wealthiest and a war without end. If you look out from the left, you will see an America with a strong middle class at home and a strong reputation in the world.”
Before she passed the mike over to the professionals to give safety announcements, she signed off saying, “Once again, thank you for joining us on Hill Force One. We know you have choices when you fly, and so we are grateful that you chose the plane with the most experienced candidate.”
The story ran on the Wall Street Journal's website, so of course the first three comments implied that a flight attendant was the only job she was qualified for, that she was mocking flight attendants, and that she was advocating political censorship with her "blackberry" remark. Some people have no sense of humor....