I'm Your Wing, Vector One

One of the stranger things about my time in Champaign was the phonecalls I'd receive aimed at former denizens of my office. One of my colleagues, for example, had an apartment in Chicago, and so ADT was constantly calling me to say the alarm had gone off.

I'm not in Champaign anymore, but my voicemail is still linked to my email address and so I'm still forwarded the messages. Only now these emails come with an attempt to transcribe the message into text. The results are glorious.

Good afternoon this is ADT SECURITY everything is in regards to berg alarm we received only room ocean front [name, almost gotten right!] residents [phone number] yeah I got that they have provided to be sunset divide it up 40 they've and I wanted 3 foot notified them if you have any question please and take it easy vector one.

"Take it easy, Vector One" is my new AALS motto. It makes me feel like an X-Wing pilot going off on a mission.