Following up on the exciting exploits of my move-in, Comcast and I had a "I'm not fired; I quit!" moment yesterday, as I canceled the deal just about the same time they informed me they couldn't hook my house up after all. It wasn't a total loss, though: They did keep me out of a competitors hands for a full week while I waited for an installation that was later revealed to be impossible (so not a total loss for them. For me ... yeah, it kind of was).
Meanwhile, my intuition about AT&T was correct too, as they say they can't connect us to the internet until August 25th. They have to mail us the modem (the guy coming to install the line can't touch it, for it is holy), and apparently they have to route it through Kazakhstan for quality assurance purpose. Good Lord, why is the internet controlled by morons? So for the time being, I'm still on the weak, intermittent but at least somewhat steady (so long as I stay in the living room -- it doesn't pick up at all in my bedroom), patriots signal.