Hickory Smoke

This weekend, Jill took a train trip up to Seattle to visit friends. It was a lovely time -- Seattle is a great city, we saw Liz Miele do stand-up -- just a pleasant weekend all around.

However. Our friends have a three-year-old, and consequently much of the car music over the weekend was an album of nursery rhymes. On its own, that didn't bother me at all. I'm sure that by the nine hundredth thousandth millionth iteration the songs would get aggravating, but seriously -- I had no problem singing along with "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" to a toddler.

The problem was Hickory Dickory Dock. Which, to my horror, I found out I -- and by "I", I mean "everyone else" -- have been singing wrong my entire life.

Here are the core lyrics as I always sang them as a kid:

Hickory, dickory, dock

The mouse ran up the clock

The clock struck one

And down he runs

Hickory, dickory, dock.

Notice that "one" rhymes with "runs". Which makes sense for a nursery rhyme. It's great.

But here is how it was sung on the album (and further research suggests this is a more common iteration):

Hickory, dickory, dock

The mouse ran up the clock

The clock struck one

The mouse runs down

Hickory, dickory, dock.

 What is this? "One" does not rhyme with "down". It's not even close enough to be a slant rhyme, but it is just close enough to be horribly jarring and discordant and wrong.

Also, I disapprove of the melody the album chose. I think the first two bars of the song should go:

G-A-G-F-E-D-C

C-E-E-F-D-E

But what we got was:

F#-G-A-A-B-D♭-D

A-F#-G-A-A-B-D♭-D

And of course, Wikipedia suggests that's the traditional melody choice as well. What is wrong with all of you?

As you can imagine by the fact that I'm still writing about it, this is driving me absolutely nuts -- to the point that I saw a recipe for "hickory rubbed watermelon" yesterday and almost flew back into a rage. The whole word is ruined for me.

Rate that Apology, Part 11: Lizzo

I will confess: I don't know much about Lizzo. But my wife is a fan -- she actually saw Lizzo in concert years ago before she was even the headlining act (she was opening for Haim at a show in Berkeley). So I have a cool wife, even if I remain a very nerdy husband.

Anyway. One of the songs in Lizzo's recently released album uses the word "spaz" in a somewhat unfriendly fashion, a slang for from being freaked out or uncontrollable ("I’m a spaz/ I’m about to knock somebody out/ Yo, where my best friend?/ She the only one I know to talk me off the deep end."). She was criticized by members of the disability community, who contended that "spaz" was an ableist slur. Here's her apology:

It’s been brought to my attention that there is a harmful word in my new song “GRRRLS”. Let me make one thing clear: I never want to promote derogatory language. As a fat Black woman in America, I’ve had many hurtful words used against me so I understand the power words can have (whether intentionally or in my case, unintentionally). I’m proud to say there’s a new version of GRRRLS with a lyric change. This is the result of me listening and taking action. As an influential artist I’m dedicated to being part of the change I’ve been waiting to see in the world. Xoxo, Lizzo.

This is, I think, superb. Seriously, it's a model. It is contrite in a way that is proportionate to the harm caused. While it gives some mitigating context (e.g., that the harm was unintentional), it is not primarily framed as an apologia, nor does it suggest that good intentions are the be-all-end-all of the relevant analysis. It takes responsibility and commits to a tangible action item that will ameliorate the wrong caused. It's hard to imagine what more one could ask for. Great work, Lizzo!

And on that note: one nice thing to observe here is that, as the linked article notes, Lizzo's apology seems to have been well-received.  She has not been "canceled"; it seems that most of her critics are satisfied with the response she made. Certainly, it helps that Lizzo has a broad base of goodwill she can draw upon -- most of her fans are not looking for an excuse to exile her from polite society. Nonetheless, it is notable that the histrionic cries that cancel culture is naught but a bloodthirsty mob out to destroy lives without possibility of redemption doesn't seem to be borne out. If you actually take the complaints seriously and respond in a way that shows you're taking responsibility, people will appreciate that.

Grade: 10/10

Things People Blame the Jews For, Volume LVIII: Pop Music

It's well known that Jews are responsible for all the good Christmas carols. But what about more contemporary fare?

Alt-right writer and professional misogynist Roosh V gives the tribe credit where it's due:

Taylor Swift, and pop music in general, is a Jewish project. pic.twitter.com/T0GdvG996r

— Roosh (@rooshv) December 22, 2020

Taylor Swift we already knew about, since earlier in this series we witnessed the Jews blamed for her endorsement of former Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen's U.S. Senate campaign. But all of pop music? Now that's a coup! Sometimes the antisemites inadvertently pay us the nicest compliments.

Which pop star are you most excited to welcome into the Elders of Zion? I've always had a soft spot for the divine Ms. Katy Perry. Or maybe now we can finally reel in Ariana Grande once and for all!

Tell me your fave in the comments!

Has Elvis Left the Building?

I'm wondering if we're reaching the end of the days where Elvis is a relevant cultural landmark?

Las Vegas, for example, still has Elvis impersonators and Elvis wedding chapels. But is he a meaningful figure for the next generation? Even kids of my era knew Elvis -- through our parents, yes, but many of us grew up listening to the "oldies" station and so knew all the songs of that era pretty well by heart. Today? I'm dubious. I'm sure kids these days know who Elvis is, and probably can do a good "thankyouverymuch" impression. But he's probably fading as a phenomenon. Even to me, he already feels pretty quaint.

Some of this, of course, is the inexorable march of time. But it is interesting to see which songs from that era have staying power and which don't. The obvious place to look is which songs show up in advertisements. "Happy Together" by The Turtles is a great example -- a solid but not transcendent hit which nonetheless seems destined to stay a part of our cultural life for years to come. Which of Elvis' songs fall in the same boat? I don't have one jumping to the forefront of my mind.

And looking ahead: how long before we're wondering the same thing about The Beatles? And then Michael Jackson?

What We Like About Each Other

Daniel Gordis has an interesting piece in Bloomberg about a co-existence program that brings together Palestinian and Israeli teenagers in the Gush Etzion area (which is inside the West Bank, just south of Jerusalem).

Aside from the substantive content of the piece, there were two tertiary elements that stood out. One is the notation that Gush Etzion had Jewish residents prior to Israel's establishment -- these Jews were expelled when Jordan took over the territory in the wake of Israel's independence war. Many of the current settlers in that territory descend from families which were forced to flee.

That sort of story is rarely raised. And to be clear, in a large sense for me it doesn't matter -- I've long maintained that part of a permanent settlement between Israel and Palestine will likely include a proviso that not everyone gets to live on the precise patch of land they'd most prefer, and that applies to Jewish families whose roots in Gush Etzion go deep as much as the descendants of Palestinian refugees who fled pre-67 Israel during the Nakba. But it is nonetheless a complicating narrative in a region where simplicity is too often craved, and I think that's important.

The other interesting portion came at the very end:

“I have another question,” an Israeli teenager asked her Palestinian counterparts at a recent meeting. “Is there anything about our culture that you actually like?”

The Palestinian kids were quiet for a moment, and then they laughed. “We love your music,” they said. Specifically Eyal Golan, an Israeli rock star who sings in Hebrew, but in a Middle Eastern, almost Arabic-sounding style. “We don’t understand the Hebrew; but we listen to him all the time; we know all the words by heart.”

The way this is framed by Gordis, one might think Golan -- an Israeli who sings "in a Middle Eastern, almost Arabic-sounding style" -- is appropriating culture that isn't his (think of consternation regarding Israeli Jews selling hummus, or wearing a keffiyeh). Yet as one might have suspected, Golan is himself a Middle Eastern Jew -- his family hails from Morocco and Yemen. So when he sings in a "Middle Eastern" or "Arabic-sounding" style -- that's his style. He has equal claim to as compared to any other person from Yemen or Morocco.

Anyway, as I said, these are tertiary points. The article is pretty light, all told, but worth a read nonetheless.

How About We Declare a Moritorium on Concert-Cancellation Calls?

Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters supports BDS. Consequently, he wants Radiohead to cancel their concert in Israel.

Nassau County, New York has passed legislation opposing BDS. Consequently, some politicians on Long Island want to cancel Pink Floyd's concert at the Nassau Coliseum (the stadium is owned by the county).

While I fully expect 80% of commenters to be delighted by one of these calls while aghast at the censorial suppression of the other, put me in the camp of not supporting cancelling concerts as a means of grinding political axes.

Blog of Ratings: Katy Perry's Halftime Set

I don't care what anybody says, I love me some Ms. Katy Perry (aka, Zooey Deschanel minus the bangs). And thinking about her beats thinking about why the Seahawks decided to throw the football on the one-yard line with downs and timeouts to spare for any reason whatsoever. But what elements of her halftime show sang, and which sunk? Let's find out.

Roar

I had two immediate problems with the divine Ms. Perry's opening act. First, her hair. Katy Perry has lovely hair. So why was it styled so that she looks like a Stasi agent from the gritty reboot of Rocky and Bullwinkle? Second, her outfit, which looked like someone gave a Kindergarten class a bunch of shiny orange construction paper and a staple gun.

Each of these problems, of course, is easily outweighed by the fact that she came in riding the lion from Voltron. B+.

Dark Horse

I kind of forgot about this, which is a shame when you think about it because it was quite visually striking. The chessboard motif was very nice, and I was impressed with Katy's dance troupe -- it's hard enough to do standing flips when you're not wearing a white knight headpiece that must throw one's entire sense of balance to hell. B.

I Kissed a Girl

This was Lenny Kravitz's appearance, and he was used to good effect to create a grimier reboot of Katy's original hit. The song doesn't quite work with a man singing it, unless it's a gay man and he sounds particularly mournful ("I kissed a girl and I liked it ... hope my boyfriend don't mind it."). B.

Teenage Dream/California Gurls

Much more of Katy's aesthetic, right down to the beach umbrella bra. Most people have focused on the dancing sharks, which are amusing until you remember that all of them probably attended Julliard. The overall visual effect for me resembled the opening to a Katamari game. I can't decide if that's a compliment or not. B-.

Get Ur Freak On

Missy Elliot kind of stole the show here. Her dance moves made Katy's team look like amateurs, and she seemed to know it -- I won't say she was half-hearted during this segment, she just knew well enough that trying to keep the spotlight on her would not turn out well. The main Katy-related takeaway from this segment was her oversized football jersey outfit, which made her look like she was doing a walk-of-shame after sleeping with the Oakland Raiders' offensive tackle. A.

Firework

Firework may be my favorite Katy Perry song (again, no shame here. Not one bit). But this felt a little too on the nose. Sparkly, star-laden dress? Floating on a shooting star? And the fireworks were in the air? Now if they had shot out of her chest like in the music video, then we might have had something. B.

Song of Songs

I've often joked that the Cantor is my ultimate synagogue nemesis -- were it not for Cantors showing off, the service would end in half the time and I'd be that much closer to the delicious bagels at the reception. To be fair, I'm a tough critic to please -- were it up to me, every song would be sung exactly as it was when I was growing up, with no alterations whatsoever. This may run in the family -- at my old synagogue, I distinctly recall that anytime the Cantor experimented with a new melody, my dad would start loudly singing the old one in reprimand. It never caused the tune to be changed, but perhaps it served as a deterrent.

Whenever I go to a new synagogue, I'd always grouse about how I preferred the singing at my home congregation. As I grow older, even the tunes at my home synagogue grow more unfamiliar, which I don't like. Our new Aleinu sounds like a funeral dirge, for example. But hearing that new tune (and others) made me wonder -- just how old are the songs we sing? Not the words, but the music? Are they hundreds of years old, recognizable in the Shetls of Europe or the villages of the Middle East? Or are they all reinvented anew by each generation of Hazzans? Do we have any way of knowing? I doubt songs such as these were ever committed to a score. It seems like one of those mysteries that may be unknowable. But maybe not -- historians have sussed out stranger facts.

Whistlin' in the Wind

Israel brought one of its most prominent pop stars, the Persian-born Rita, to perform before the UN General Assembly and deliver a message of peace between the Israeli and Iranian peoples.

‎"I am proud of being Jewish and Israeli. I am about to reveal a piece of the ancient, rich and beautiful culture of Persia. The concert combined both languages intertwined simply and beautifully, just like the prayer in my heart that we, the common people, will be able to make an impact eventually.

"There is a story about a boy who walked into a synagogue and didn't know how to pray like everyone else, so he just whistled with all his might. I have no knowledge of the language of politics, but I will be there, whistle my prayer and hope that it reaches as far as Iran."

In the story she refers to, incidentally, the learned Rebbe of the synagogue declares that the boy's whistle (in my recollection, he blew a note on his flute, but same principle) is what allowed their prayers to ascend and be heard in heaven. May it be the case here, too, that the voices of regular people with a passion for engagement and desire to hear each others songs also heal rifts and create peace where politicians and ideologues have failed.

Slaves to Fashion

Follow this -- Norwegian heavy metal band "Slaves to Fashion" discovers a professor already wrote a book with the same title (about sweatshop labor). Embarrassed, they offered to make amends -- by writing a song about the book. Slaves to Fashion is now preparing to release "Slaves to Fashion" about Slaves to Fashion.

Bang It Out

I sometimes listen to music on my headphones at work. Unfortunately, the headphones are plugged into my laptop, which has a surprisingly excellent pair of speakers. Meaning that if I accidentally yank the headphones (inadvertant arm movement, leaning back too quickly), then the hallways of this prestigious, white-shoe law firm is suddenly filled with sound of whatever metal/guitar riff I'm currently listening to.

This has happened twice now -- and both times it has been tremendously humiliating.

Shove It

In my intermittent role as musical adviser to political bodies, I have to say I'm baffled as to why the Tea Partiers haven't adopted Santigold's Shove It as an anthem. Listen to the chorus:

We think you're a joke/
Shove your hope where it don't shine. (x4)

And, if you listen to the version with Project Pat, he appears to say something about government making promises, but turning around to "rob our pockets".



What's that you say? Tea Partiers are unlikely to listen to Santigold and Three Six Mafia? Pshaw!

Mom's Worst Nightmare

Louis Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World", is my mom's favorite song. So mom -- this one's for you:

You Can Be a Single Lady Too!

Ann Bartow calls it "gender construction right before your eyes".



I personally love the look the little girls give dad. It's all "you fucking idiot." He does, however, seem appropriately abashed.

Just Another Holocaust Survivor/Turkish Rap Group Collab

Oh for cute. But also inspiring.

Oral Argument Roundup

I did mock oral arguments today (the case was essentially: "Google books gets sued by authors for copyright infringement." I represented the authors.). It was quite the flashback to high school debate -- right down to the universal consensus that "you speak way too fast!" Oh, the memories. But it seemed like substance-wise, the judges liked what they heard, and I like to think that's what counts.

***

A grade school choir sings Eye of the Tiger.

My friend Julia, who tragically abandoned a respectable debater's path to become an astrophysicist (how embarrassing!), has signed on to write for the new blog A Scientist and a Woman. Her first post takes a look at a paper I sent her that examines how having female professors impacts female STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) students.

Former US ambassador to Afghanistan Zalmay Khalilzad is set to take a high ranking position in that nation's government. Khalilzad was born in the US but as an Afghan citizen.

Meanwhile, with Bill Clinton being named UN special envoy to Haiti and Canadian-born Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D-MI) floated as a SCOTUS candidate, folks are talking about the new "post-citizenship/post-sovereigntist age of governance and leadership."

Ha'aretz: Settlements a bigger problem for Netanyahu than two-state solution is.

Noting that we are on pace to see more women than men in the workforce, Melissa Murray & Darren Rosenblum argue that we should tailor our economic recovery plans to harness the some XX power.

Leave Out All The Rest

Last night's episode of Dollhouse might have been the best in the series. The twists were well executed, we got a much better look at Topher and Dr. Saunders, and an inside look at the personalities of some of the main dolls (Sierra, particularly, got fleshed out excellently). This show has really found its voice over the last few episodes, and for that I'm really happy.

Meanwhile, I was listening to the latest Linkin Park album, and it occurred to me that one of their songs seems to fit perfectly with the theme of the show (this is a program which managed to make Lady GaGa's Just Dance fraught with meaning, so Linkin Park isn't much of a stretch).

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I'm me

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

-- "Leave Out All The Rest", Linkin Park

Clearing the Pile

Stuff has been accumulating since Thanksgiving. Time to dump it on you.

The myth that Blacks were responsible for the passage of Prop. 8 has been debunked. But the need to engage that community remains as strong as ever. My friend Lauren sent me an interesting article trying to break down why Blacks (and specifically, Black women) voted overwhelmingly against gay marriage.

The breadth and scope of the Mumbai terrorist attacks made it feel churlish to focus on the specific attack on Jews. But as this Z-Word comment points out, the decision to devote resources towards Chabad House was actually remarkably inefficient for the terrorists. In other words, they went out of their way to kill Jews. Particularly given PG's explication of patterns of Indian terrorism (see comments), this is disturbing.

Echidne has the story of a woman, convicted of running errands for her cousin's cocaine ring, who was originally sentenced to four life terms. It got reduced to 12 years, but the government appealed and bumped it back up to 27 years. This is for a first time non-violent offender, mind you. As Echidne says, there are first degree murderers who get out faster than that.

Chicago Law Professor Geoffrey Stone argues that the passage of Prop. 8 implicates Establishment Clause values, because at root it "enact[s] into law a particular religious belief." Rick Garnett dissents, and I think he has the better of the argument.

Following up on my previous posts, The Gaucho Politico sent me another link on the obstacles former Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael Steele is facing to become RNC chief.

Saudi Girls love to rock. Or at least four of them do.

Not So Fly (Even For a Rabbi)

A large organization representing Haredi (i.e., ultra-orthodox) Jews in Israel has come up with guidelines for "kosher" music.

Musicians who use rock, rap, reggae and trance influences will not receive rabbinic approval for their CDs, nor will they be allowed to play in wedding halls under haredi kosher food supervision, according to a new, detailed list of guidelines drafted with rabbinical backing that differentiates between "kosher" and "treif" music.

The guidelines, which are still being formulated, also ban "2-4 beats and other rock and disco beats;" the "improper" use of electric bass, guitars and saxophones; and singing words from holy sources in a disrespectful, frivolous manner.

"Michael Jackson-style music has no place in our community," says Mordechai Bloi, a senior member of the Guardians of Sanctity and Education, an organization based in Bnei Brak that enforces what it sees as normative haredi behavior.

"We might be able to adopt Bach or Beethoven, music with class, but not goyishe African music and beats. We haredim want to protect ourselves from what we see as negative foreign influences. We are trying to maintain our own authentic music styles. We admit that times are changing, but we are trying to stay loyal to our roots."

I love the distinction between classical music (does none of that have 2-4 beats?) and "goyishe African music", and how it screams ethnic chauvinism. On the other hand, this creates an opportunity for a great cross-over project: "Footloose on the Roof."

But seriously -- this is such an embarrassment to the worldwide Jewish community. These people are our fundamentalists.

Via Tapped

Diet of Humility

Some Carleton students, for the past two years (at least) have organized this nice thing called "diet of music." Basically, you make a mix CD, put it in the organizer's mailbox, and they anonymously pair and redistribute them. After a few days, they reveal your "partner". It's a great way to expand your musical "diet".

So I got my CD today, and tonight one of my closest friends at Carleton IMs me to talk about the respective mixes we received. Here is an excerpted rendition of our conversation:

XmatthewXcoleX: did you do the musicla diet thing this year
dsadevil: ya
XmatthewXcoleX: how is the mix you got?
dsadevil: not my style
dsadevil: one song i kinda like
XmatthewXcoleX: mine would be good
XmatthewXcoleX: if the middle 14 songs
XmatthewXcoleX: werent awful
XmatthewXcoleX: there's a rob zombie song thats cool, and some kind of electronica thing near the end
XmatthewXcoleX: the wrest is generic angsty nu-metal
XmatthewXcoleX: generic angsty post-grunge
XmatthewXcoleX: and generic angsty emo
dsadevil: so...i'd love it?
XmatthewXcoleX: i dont know if id say that
dsadevil: its tough to go wrong by underestimating my taste in music
dsadevil:
dsadevil: my mix had a lot of R&B and 70s-style "rock" (aka, crooning)
XmatthewXcoleX: i associate 70s style rock
XmatthewXcoleX: with Led Zeppelin and David Bowie
XmatthewXcoleX: so, awesome
dsadevil: it had one Led Zep song
XmatthewXcoleX: i can see my person liking maybe 3 songs on the mix i made
XmatthewXcoleX: that makes me sad
XmatthewXcoleX: i was aiming for life chaning
XmatthewXcoleX: *changing
dsadevil: i am skeptical that my partner and i will overlap nicely
XmatthewXcoleX: mine also ahd random film music
XmatthewXcoleX: so it was like eclectic
XmatthewXcoleX: but an eclectic mix of things that are middle-brow and bad
[...]
XmatthewXcoleX: mines a girl
XmatthewXcoleX: i can tell from the cd handwriting
dsadevil: im guessing mines a guy
XmatthewXcoleX: based on what?
dsadevil: i dunno ... the R&B feels very "i'm a sensitive and moody guy"
dsadevil: until i mentioned the Lauryn Hill song on it, everyone thought I got Rob Hildebrandt's cd
XmatthewXcoleX: ok lol
XmatthewXcoleX: this out of control
XmatthewXcoleX: i have a hypthesis that we got each others cds
dsadevil: oh god i hope not
XmatthewXcoleX: hahhaa
dsadevil: the Rob Zombie song -- its not "Reloaded" is it?
XmatthewXcoleX: i couldnt say i just recognize his voice
XmatthewXcoleX: but if the Lauryn Hill song is "Every Ghetto, Every City" and the LZ song is "Since I Been Lovin' You".....
dsadevil: oh god
XmatthewXcoleX: hahahhaa
XmatthewXcoleX: omg
[...]
XmatthewXcoleX: this
dsadevil: is hilarious and awful
XmatthewXcoleX: well, if there was any doubt
XmatthewXcoleX: we have further confirmed that we do not share much musical taste

Ah yes. Good times.