Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Why Must All the Candidates Be So Fucking Neoliberal?

[To the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”]

Oh….
Clinton voted for the war
And Timothy Kaine is such a bore.
Cory Booker loves Wall Street
And VP Warren spells defeat.
None of them’s acceptable
For my precious vote electoral
Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

I think we’ve had enough of the White House
being a Whitehouse
And Tom Perez as Labor’s top
Didn’t restore the union shop
Tom Vilsack is in the sack for
Big Agricultural
Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

O’Malley’s a coastal technocrat
Another pawn of the fat cats
Schumer opposed the Iran Deal.
Castro’s young—is he for real?
Of Biden I’ve had my fill
Since he wrote the ’94 Crime Bill
Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?
           
Cummings seemed to think
Black Lives Mattered more than TPP
And Becarra didn’t swear
I’d go to Yale tuition-free.
As Congressmen I think they’re swell
But if they’re picked it’s “betrayal!”
Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal?

I was for Bernie until I learned he’d
Endorsed the dreaded Hillary
Now I see that he’s sold out
Of that there is no doubt.
Could the problem be with me?
My vain demands of purity?

Nah.


Why must all the candidates be so fucking neoliberal!

2 comments:

EW said...

This is damn clever--but I can't get it to scan with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. (Then again, Broadway's latest version includes some new melodic bridges; I've been assuming you were relying on the Julie Andrews version.)

The lyrics seem to match the Modern Major General song better, but even that's not a perfect fit.

David Schraub said...

Jill said the same thing! But when I sing it, it does map onto the (Julie Andrews) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious just fine.

Which could mean nothing more than I'm singing it very, very badly.