Sunday, December 18, 2022

A Holiday Greetings Flowchart

How do I handle holiday greetings as a Jew? Here's the order of operations:

  • If you say "happy holidays" to me and I don't know you or what you celebrate, then I say "happy holidays" to you in return.
  • If I know you're Jewish, I say "happy Chanukah."
  • If you wish me "Merry Christmas" and you don't know I'm Jewish, then I say "happy holidays."
  • If you wish me "Merry Christmas" and you do know I'm Jewish, or if you say "merry Christmas" in any way that suggests that doing so is your way of striking back against PC liberal elites, then I say "happy Chanukah."
  • Finally, if I know you celebrate Christmas but you nonetheless wish me "happy Chanukah" because you know that's what I celebrate, then I will wish you a "merry Christmas" in return as that's what you celebrate.
Feel free to use this in your own interactions. 

And from me to you: happy holidays to all, happy Chanukah for those for whom it applies, and merry Christmas to those who've earned it!

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